Today was an unlucky and unfortunate day for the Touran. Fortunately, nobody was hurt and no other cars were involved- just the Touran and a poll. Unfortunately, I did not see this poll while backing up (out of a parking space) and caused significant damage to the Touran. Now by significant I mean, it is going to definitely need some professional bodywork for the repairs but I can continue to drive it and thankfully, just missed the right headlight so it will not affect driving in the dark (which these days is around 6:30PM). I just feel so bad that it happened. Of course it would have to be that I would get in the first fender-bender while living in Germany (I already get enough wise cracks about my driving). And, with all the laughing about minivans put aside, I really, really like driving the Touran especially compared to my old, large minivan that I usually drive when Matt is home. But again, nobody was hurt and the car can be fixed. It is just a bummer.
At the start of dance today, the instructor (who is Danish) approached me about whether or not I was taking German language classes. I explained to her that I had not started my language classes due to scheduling conflicts with my husband’s job, but that I was doing some private study when time allowed. She then asked how much German Elle knew. I shared that Elle attended an all-German Kindergarten and was adapting very well. She said that Elle often times “does her own thing” during the dance classes and sometimes even isolates herself?? OK- I am not being a defensive Mother (OK- maybe I am a little) but 1) Elle has always enjoyed interacting with other childrenand 2) she probably does not comprehend the language of the class instruction and does her own movements from time to time. The teacher got “snippy” with me saying that she did not believe the class should have to be instructed in both German and English. Well YES, I agree and understand this but GIVE HER A BREAK. She is THREE years old, does not know anyone in the class and has lived in this foreign country for less than 4 months. Elle is a bright little girl and will learn through observation and will continue to comprehend more of the German instruction as time passes- again, GIVE HER A BREAK. But of course, after remaining calm and strong in front of Elle, after I took her into the classroom my eyes filled up with tears. I can handle just about anything this “adventure” brings my way, but when it affects either of my children it absolutely KILLS ME. Thankfully, two other German mothers (who speak English) overheard the conversation and kindly offered me their support. One mother, who had sat in on the class 2-weeks prior (because her child would not let go of her), stated that she thought Elle was interacting with the other children and through mimicking what the other children and teacher were doing was doing fantastic. These beautiful women then offered to host a play date after dance next week, so that Elle could get to know their daughters better (one mother has a 3 and a 2.5 year old in the class and the other has a 3-year old in the class) and continue to enjoy the dance class. I made sure that Elle did not overhear any of the conversation between the teacher and I (she soaks up EVERYTHING) but before taking her into the dance studio, I asked Elle is she was excited to be going to dance and she said, “Yes! “ I asked her if she understood the teacher and she said, “No, I just follow what everyone else is doing.” She is fine, children are resilient and Elle is a bright, carefree and fun little girl. Just the week prior Elle had shared with me how, in class, they were "ice-skating" and she slipped on the ice while skating; I would say that is pretty good interpretation and participation for someone who does not understand the language. All it comes down to is, I pray every night that she never feels “different” or left out during this “adventure.” I know that some of this is just part of growing up, but I cannot help but feel that some of her “life lessons” are going to be a tad different and more difficult living here rather than in the States at this point in her life. It is rather ironic that this conversation/event took place today because JUST last night, before going to bed, Elle and I talked about some of the pros and cons to living in Germany versus living in Iowa. I will continue to be a strong Mother for both Elle and Britta and make their lives as normal, fun, happy and educational for them as possible. Basically, due to the language barrier I am at the mercy of everyone around me who can speak German and this makes me feel helpless and vulnerable. As I wrote last week, being a Mother is the absolute best job in the world, but also the hardest.
Just another random bummer today…I accidently mixed in one of my FAV 100% merino wool sweaters in with the regular laundry. Well, it could now fit one of Elle’s Barbies it shrunk so much.
And well, tomorrow is my birthday. I really, really hope that the day goes by SUPER FAST. Even as I write this Blog entry, I feel PATHETIC because I have tears in my eyes. I know that birthdays become less and less a big deal as one ages, BUT it will be my FIRST birthday in 32-years I will not be with my friends and/or family to celebrate. I know maybe it shouldn’t be, but it is so depressing to me that I am living in this foreign country and even my husband is in the States for my birthday. Everyone I love, besides of course my beautiful girls, are going to be in the States for my birthday. I of course could invite people I have met over to our home tomorrow night and create a birthday party for myself but this seems a tad PATHETIC (though I did invite some friends over to eat Saturday night but we are not calling it a “Birthday Party”:)). But seriously, I need to stop with the pity-party and focus on all of the blessings I have in my life; the biggest of these blessings being that I get to celebrate with my precious Elle and precious Britta. I know that BOTH of my sweet girls will be singing “Happy Birthday” and this is the best gift anyone should ever ask for. And another positive is I will wake up Saturday morning feeling fantastic and not hung-over (like so many post-birthday mornings in the past):)!!! I just wish we could skip right to October 22nd!
Happy Birthday! Being "alone" on your birthday is the pits! Especially when you are in a place that is home, but doesn't quite feel like home. Hold your little girls tight and continue to do what you're doing. You're a strong, beautiful mother and you're providing your family with a lifetime of experiences right now. It's certainly not easy, but it's such an incredible opportunity! One day we'll look back on these days with such pride....remember when I spent my birthday in Germany while my husband was living it up in the States?!? Hugs to you, my friend! Cathy
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